Decisions of the Wild

Now, I've got to make a pretty big decision about what I want to do with my money. I've got quite a bit amassed, but it was all to help towards paying for a trip out to the east coast to see a special someone this summer. Now ... now I can use it on stuff I'll actually be needing. I mean, why keep the money aside any more? Obviously, the promise of me eventually making it out there hasn't kept her interested long enough, so why should I [seemingly] waste so much money on something like that now? Why should I set any money aside for that? If it wasn't at the top of her wishful thinking list, why should it be at the top of my priorities any longer?

So the first question I've got to reason with myself is whether to spend it now or to keep saving it. Ultimately, this leads to the second question (since I've got a pretty good grasp of the first): what should I then do with it? I dunno yet, but I'll figure something out, and I'll make it incredibly worth it for all you viewers out there. I already chipped into buying a new soundcard and speakers for audio recording, so that helped make a dent in things.

And with a raise of the wine glass, I bid you all farewell, good luck, and good night.

Different Ends of the Spectrum

Damn, it's been awhile. I figure that when all else fails, you need to go back to what you know best -- and, for me, that happens to be heading back to the blog that, in essence, started it all. So, in reality, here goes.

When I talked to my friends about advice I should have when Jessica had decided to break things off with me, I first went to Chelsea who helped immensely in giving me the female perspective, calming me down, and getting me in a more-understanding, less-angry state of mind. Which was great, because it helped me write up an understanding message to Jessica before we officially started finishing things off.

The second person I went to was Christian and when I talked to him, I, of course, expected him to back me up like a brother. When I explain everything to him, his initial response was: "Man, I can't believe she'd do something like that. What's wrong with her ... how could she?" Which was also comforting, and made me laugh a little. Christian, being my best friend, certainly knows how to accomplish something like that, and I really, really respect that.

The third person I went to was dear old mother, since she's been having relationship issues, too, lately, and, frankly, who else do you turn to (no matter how old you are) than your own mom? She talked things out and sort of held the ground between Christian's disbelief and Chelsea's understanding, perhaps putting things in the perfect realm between "while it's not really clear exactly why, it makes some sense." That's something I can live with.

So the fourth person I go to is Charlie. And I explain to him the amazing double-standard where I was forced to promise never to leave like I did the first time, and yet she has the nerve to pull the exact same thing on me, in the exact same way, almost mockingly ... and Charlie gives me the most amazing explanation I have ever heard for any of my problems ever. I explain everything to him and he looks me straight in the eye as he gives me his response. And you know what he says? "She just wants something in her vagina. Y'know, something in her vagina, something to touch and stimulate the clit?"

And then we laughed.
'Cause it was a fucking amazing moment. xD And it was such an awkward and unexpected thing for him to even so much as suggest.

Oh, Charlie.