Shut Me Out

An odd thing's been happening and I can't quite understand it.

I'm not angry, I'm not disappointed, and I'm not upset (at least not any more, anyways.) Things just seem ... odd. And I can't quite put my finger on what's out of place. I need to focus on what I want to accomplish and stop dwelling on this tiny, little, niggling things at the back of my head. I need to write, I need to get money in my bank account, I need to do well in school -- I've put ultimate goals like this off for so long in my head that it almost seems as if they've drowned back in my subconscious somewhere along the way.

This was especially not the ideal weekend for me, either. Suffice it to say, things most certainly did not go according to plan. Since tomorrow is Martin Luther King Day, however, we have it off from school which'll give me some time to think, plan, and do things that I've been wanting to for quite some time now.

I wasn't angry, disappointed, or upset. And I guess I'm still not. I just feel ... bland. It's the sort of mood that you'd enunciate by shrugging your shoulders and storming off the set. I was on the phone earlier and she told me that I was being quiet. She told me to say something, but I really didn't want to. I didn't want to have to say anything. In the end, that conversation ended with a phone click and my phone nested somewhere in the bed behind me amongst the sheets and pillows.

Well, I guess I'll get to writing and organizing crap on my computer. Maybe get to the Cowboy Bebop AMV I've been planning on finishing for the past few months now. Oh, and a new mySpace playlist:

1 -- "What I Want" by Daughtry (feat. Slash)
2 -- "Hell" by Foo Fighters
3 -- "Done With You" by Papa Roach
4 -- "Shallow Bay" by Breaking Benjamin
5 -- "Santa Monica" by Theory of a Deadman

Check it.

--Reaper