¡Penes por todas partes!

The title of the post is in Spanish. Stands for "Male Gentalia Everywhere". Don't ask. But yet very relevant to my stories. See, during Social Studies, Chris had his lock ... well, ... locked to his belt loop on his pants, so, he reached down, and tried to unlock it, was having trouble, but, after succeeding, stared down, which didn't look right ... and I was sitting across from him ... which obviously means I have to throw in a sarcastic / idiotic / rude comment. Here I go ... :

Me: What are you doing?!?
Chris: My lock wouldn't come off ...
Me: -ignores- You tried to padlock your penis, again, didn't you?!?
Chris: -shocked with a blank stare- WHAT?!?

And then, at lunch, I just couldn't stop using the word.

Me: -leans in to James- Y'know he tried to padlock his penis?
James: -laughs and walks down the outdoor stairs-
Luke: What was that about?
Me: -leans to Luke- Christian wants you to touch his penis ... yes or no?
Luke: -laughs- What?!?
Me: Just a simple yes or no.
Luke: Well, ... no!
Me: -turns to Chris across the cement pretty far away- -yells- HE SAYS NO!
Chris: No to what?
Me: I asked him if he wanted to touch your penis ... he said no. -laughs-
Chris: -socks me hard in the arm- Jack@$$ ...
Me: -stifles a cry / laugh and walks back to Luke- My penis is named Luke. Luke isn't with me anymore. Luke, will you help me find Luke?
Luke: 0.0; NO! -runs off-
Me: -laughs as hard as possible-
Chris: -now really pissed off- You are? Well, let me tell Charlie and his friends.
Me: NOOOOOO!!! -slo-mo-ish- -trails with Chris-
Chris: -my name- seems to be missing his penis and wants to know if you can help him find it.
-everybody starts laughing-

Mmmmm ... padlocks ...

--"Demented Reaper"

GIGGITY!